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The perplexing search for purplicious luggage and the perils of windmills

April 12, 2019 by Forimmediaterelease

April is Stress Awareness Month, but it is also National Humor Month, so I thought I’d go out on a limb and talk about something that stresses a travel bargain’s aficionado. I have Scandinavian blood, so just like the Vikings, I have a natural inclination to go out and explore the world. But I’m part Scottish, so I don’t want to pay for it.

I watch google flights like a hawk – I grab dirt-cheap first-class tickets when I see the price drop to the $500 range from Honolulu to anywhere in the Great Lakes region. First class comes with 2 bags per person, up to 70 pounds per suitcase. I have 400 Aloha-themed Christmas cards I bought for 75 to 90 percent off in January, plus all kinds of other Hawaiiana treasures to take back to the mainland.

My perplexing search for Parisian goods at Scottish prices yielded over 100 possibilities on Facebook Marketplace; however, every single seller I encountered was a scam artist. Everything I looked at was counterfeit Louis Vuitton brought over from Shanghai where the seller probably paid $20 for each piece. The Facebook ads read “Authentic Louis Vuitton,” but upon inspection, it only took 30 seconds to see these were illegal knockoffs. Realistically, what real person buys 10 Louis Vuitton suitcases for $2,700 each, then turns around and sells them for $1,000 each on Marketplace before even using them once? Nobody does that. But people do buy $20 counterfeit Louis Vuitton items in China, then illegally sell them to unsuspecting Facebook buyers in Hawaii – at an obscene mark up.

So I turned to a reputable store, one which is very popular in the American South, called Belk. They specialize in products that Baptist women with really big hair love to purchase. At least that’s what my Baptist aunts with 3-feet tall hair told me. You know, the taller the hair, the closer to God.

I found a great bargain: purple luggage set of 3, regularly $160, on clearance for $19.99. The description says the luggage “is featured in a vibrant purple hue so you never have to worry about your belongings or loosing [sic] your luggage on the baggage claim belt.” What exactly does that imply? Is it such a hideous shade of purple that nobody would caught dead with it? I don’t mind purple – the symbol of Scotland is the purple thistle, so with a few decals and gaudy embellishments they would make the perfect accessory for a red hat lady or a gay Scot.

I know a lot of women who love purple. The last time I bought a suitcase from the Aloha Swap Meet, it was purple, with hibiscus, and had the words “Aloha” and “Hawaii” printed on it. After using it to fly to Detroit, I placed an ad to sell it online – and it sold in under one minute.  So maybe purple suitcases would be something I should carefully reconsider, especially if they are prone to getting brodied by big-haired women.

When I read Belk’s small print for this item I noticed the warning: “This product may contain chemicals known to the State of California to cause Cancer and Reproductive Harm.” Are they referring to pregnant women, or are they referring to my little soldiers under the category of “reproductive harm”?  I have to keep my little soldiers unharmed just in case Dolly Parton asks me to marry her. I know she’s 73 and probably has no plan to reproduce with me, but she’s got big hair and she would really appreciate my Pride of Dixie Belk luggage. And she’s the only woman on the planet who could turn me straight. Well, maybe Jane Seymour could, but I’d need to consult my shrink first. The $64,000 question, or the $19.99 question: are the purple suitcases worth getting cancer?

There has been much buzz about Mr. President’s announcement that windmills cause cancer. I guess that’s why all the people in Holland are dead. He said it had something to do with the spinning motion.  Now, these suitcases are “spinners” meaning you can spin them 360 degrees.

I’m Scottish by culture, but my DNA is Scandinavian. Scandinavians always place a high value on safety, which is why I bought a Volvo C70 convertible. Being both Scandinavian and Scottish led me to a great existential crisis – who am I – a cheap Scot or a safety-conscious Scandinavian? Is the bargain worth the stress of possibly getting cancer?

For a few minutes I pondered the issue. Maybe the cancer was caused by the spinning action. I thought, well, if I spin them backwards, would it cure cancer?

Having lost both grandmothers to cerebral tumors, I have a lot of emotional baggage when it comes to that topic. Except for basal cell carcinoma (a common problem for blue-eyed blond Scandinavians living in Hawaii) I have lived pretty much unscathed by cancer’s evil.

In the end, the Scandinavian “safety first” side of me won out. As much as I love bargains, I might have gotten more than I bargained for from this luggage set. There is always the Aloha Stadium Swap Meet to top off my 280 pound (4 suitcases) first-class checked-baggage allowance.  Any excuse to go to the Swap Meet is a Scot’s delight.

Travel News | eTurboNews

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Tartan pride celebrated nationwide and in Hawaii, too

April 10, 2019 by Forimmediaterelease

Tartan Day is a North American celebration of Scottish heritage, observed April 6, the date on which the Declaration of Arbroath (Scottish Declaration of Independence) was submitted to Pope John XXII, in 1320. It was written in Latin, and essentially decreed Scots will choose their own king, and furthermore, Scotsmen rejected the propaganda that God desired the English kings to victimize and abuse them.  Among the signatories of this papal protest was Walter Stewart, 6th High Steward of Scotland, the progenitor of my ancestors, the Stewart Kings of Scotland.  Throughout the North American Continent, Tartan Day was celebrated this past weekend.

There are well over 4,000 tartan designs that are registered. However, there are only about 500 tartans that have ever been woven.  The most exclusive is the Balmoral, worn only by the Royal Family of The United Kingdom.  Queen Victoria made wearing tartans popular; bringing back a tradition that was once banned, following the Battle of Culloden in 1746.  She dressed all her sons in kilts regularly. Prince  Alfred Ernest Albert, Duke of Edinburgh, was the second son of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha.  On August 2, 1869, this Duke of Edinburgh (called Affie by his parents) arrived in Honolulu.  The kilted Duke was feted by King Kamehameha V, the future Queen Liliuokalani, and the Queen Dowager Emma, with whom Prince Affie danced at a magnificent ball held in the original Iolani Palace.  The tartan-clad prince was so popular, the city’s leaders named one of Honolulu’s streets for him – Edinburg Street, which was the block of Bishop Street between Queen Street and Ala Moana Boulevard. Of course, Beretania (the Hawaiian word for Britannia) was already taken, for it was the road leading to the British Consul, and the community where Brits lived.  The area where the British consulate stood in 1843 is now Washington Place, the historic home of Queen Liliuokalani.  Before coming to the throne, Princess Lililuokalani along with Queen Kapiolani, attended Queen Victoria’s Golden Jubilee in London in 1887. The Hawaiian Royal family was one of Queen Victoria’s greatest admirers.   Affie started a wave of Brito-mania that endured for decades.

With the rise of kilts, so to speak, Victorian clan chiefs adopted tartans for their respective clans.  Later, individuals, organizations, and governments followed suit. There is even an official tartan for the State of Hawaii. British motifs have been popular in Hawaii for over two centuries – recall that the Union Jack of the British Empire is represented on the Hawaiian flag.

Members of The Saint Andrew’s Society of Hawaii, The Caledonian Society of Hawaii, Hawaiian Scottish Association, Friendly Sons of St. Patrick, and tartan-proud members of the Celtic community gathered at the Hawaii State Capitol to celebrate Tartan Day on April 6. The capitol is across the street from Washington Place, home to the original British community in Honolulu, and location for the formal dinner given to HM The Queen Elizabeth II on her Hawaiian visit.  Although most people associate tartans with Scotland, they are popular in multiple Celtic nations.  Dr. Nancy Smiley, MD, brought a variety of Celtic flags to the Capitol, which were gallantly flown, all day long, to celebrate Tartan Day.

Some of the tartan enthusiasts posed in front of the Father Damien statue, honoring the Catholic priest who gave his life helping Hawaiians afflicted by Hansen’s Disease (leprosy).  The victims suffered the humiliation and injustice of being banished to Kalaupapa, on the island of Molokai, beginning in 1866.  Scottish author Robert Louis Stevenson was a friend and guest to King David Kalakaua and Princess Victoria Kaiulani (heiress to the Hawaiian throne). The princess’ father was Archibald Cleghorn, a wealthy Scottish financier who married the king’s sister, Princess Likelike.  Robert Louis Stevenson was the Stephen King or J. K. Rowling of his era, and he took a keen interest in Hawaii and her people. He traveled to Molokai for eight days and seven nights in 1889 to research the work of Father Damien, after which he published a scathing 6,000 word polemic attacking the way these patients were discarded like human garbage. Stevenson targeted Rev. Dr. Charles McEwan Hyde, a Congregationalist “Christian” who placed great importance on fashion and how he looked in public, but was rather hateful toward the Catholic Priest Damien, and, by consequence, Damien’s passionate devotion to the leprosy victims.  At one point, Stevenson said he wanted to stab the good Reverend Hyde to death.  A blood-soaked white shirt wouldn’t look so fabulous on the dapper Reverend Hyde, you know. The Scottish rebuke from Stevenson became the most famous account of Father Damien, featuring the future saint in the role of a European aiding a benighted and maltreated native people.

The famed Father Damien statue was unveiled at the Capitol Rotunda, almost exactly 50 years ago, on April 15, 1969. Damien’s story, as told by Stevenson, is an attestation to fiery Scottish tempers – a people who are resolute in standing against injustice, just like they did at Arbroath in 1320.  And the statue is as hard as a hard-headed Scot  – constructed from bronze. Bronze is generally harder than wrought iron.   Not many craftsmen are able to produce works like this anymore. This piece was cast at a foundry in Viareggio, Italy, an area famous for creating sculptures, dating way back to 1541.

Marco Airaghi, who recently flew to Hawaii from Northern Italy, participated in the Tartan Day gathering. “The general area of Switzerland/Italian Alps/Austria is now accepted by anthropologists as being the aboriginal home of the Celtic peoples,” Airaghi said. “I’m a citizen of Italy, but Celtic passion runs deep in my soul, and these Hawaiian Celts are so much fun!  They exhibit a lot of integrity, they work very hard, and they are highly compassionate. I like that.”

Follow the author at facebook.com/ILoveAnton.

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The Balmoral hotel announces Head Chef at its Michelin-starred restaurant

March 25, 2019 by Forimmediaterelease

The Balmoral, a Rocco Forte hotel in Edinburgh, announced Mark Donald as the new Head Chef of Number One – the hotel’s one Michelin star restaurant. The Scottish born chef’s homecoming follows a 13 year stint abroad honing his skills on the international culinary scene working with some of the most respected chefs in the industry.

Mark joins Number One, named after the hotel’s iconic address 1 Princes Street, from Sydney, Australia where he was Head Chef at Bentley Restaurant and Bar. Prior to this he worked at a number of internationally renowned two Michelin star establishments including senior roles at Claude Bosi’s flagship Hibiscus restaurant in London and at Restaurant Andrew Fairlie at Gleneagles in Perthshire. Mark also spent a significant stage at Noma in Copenhagen – the San Pellegrino World’s Best Restaurant at that time.

Mark oversees a team of 13 chefs in Number One and has created an innovative new menu inspired by Scotland and flavoured by his and the team’s international travels. New dishes on the menu include oysters with smoked kipper and parsley; hand dived scallops with Iberico pork and black garlic ketchup and Scottish wood pigeon, green juniper and blood and potato cake. An exciting new partnership has placed Highland Wagyu beef on the menu for the first time at Number One, served with beetroot and smoked bone marrow.

Commenting on the new appointment, The Balmoral’s Executive Chef Jeff Bland said:

“Mark brings a fantastic grounding in fine-dining having worked at some incredible world renowned establishments. His approach to fusing the best of Scottish produce with international flavours brings a fresh new style to Number One. Mark will take Number One to new heights as he respects the restaurant’s ethos of continually innovating and surprising our guests.”

Mark added: “After traveling and working in some incredible locations, I felt it was time to come home to beautiful Scotland. The Balmoral is such an iconic property steeped in history and I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to work with such a fantastic team in the heart of Edinburgh.”

Mark and his team have also developed relationships with many local producers to elevate the different offering. Together with his pastry team, he has created individual bread loaves using local East Lothian barley served with Perthshire apple vinegar, Highland rapeseed oil and Mark’s home-made cultured butter with cream from Kelso dairy farms. Standout desserts include Pink Lady apple tart, Amedei chocolate mille feuille and blood orange, pumpkin and buttermilk.

World class Scottish hospitality is at the heart of Number One. Guests also have the chance to experience the team’s inherent fun side with a final treat in the form of a sweetie trolley.

Enjoy a rhubarb and custard macaron, foie gras chocolate truffle or a traditional piece of Scottish tablet with a coffee and a dram.

Travel News | eTurboNews

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